Wednesday 30 January 2008

A fab appointment with the consultant

The appointment we had yesterday was completely different from the one we experienced two weeks ago... ! which was a relief. :)

Our appointment was scheduled for 3.30pm and just as I was checking in at the reception, I heard my name being called out by the sonographer! I was surprised that they were actually 'on time'! Anyways, both D and I walked into the ultrasound room and explained that we didn't think we should be having an internal scan due to what we were advised the last time we were admitted. She went and fetched the senior sonographer and we proceeded with a normal ultrasound. Baby was measuring spot on again for his age (36 weeks) and the placenta was still in situ, ie hasn't moved. The sonographer went to get the consultant to take a look (the right consultant!) and he confirmed that the placenta was right lateral and posterior, and covers the internal os - ie, we definitely have to have a caesarean. I suppose even though everyone knew this for the last 8 weeks or so, it was the final confirmation at 36 weeks that will set things in motion, like booking the caesarean section and so on.

We asked if he could do the surgery and he agreed. And so we are booked in for the 18th of February 2008! :) It's kinda weird knowing the actual date that baby will be born, but it's nice too. We are now hoping and willing for baby to stay put till the 18th and that there are no complications that will arise from the c-section. We don't know what time the section will take place as it'll depend on their schedule and other potential emergencies with other women, but I hope we don't have to wait too long as I'll have to start my fast from the midnight the night before!!

We then had a very long talk with the midwife whose job was to talk us through the whole procedure and Lesley (that's her name) was extremely competent, patient and kind. I imagine when all this is over, we will send them a really nice thank you card and maybe some flowers! She answered all our questions without making us feel or think that we were being silly - and that means alot to me/us.

I'll have to revise my birthplan slightly, but that's fine.

All in all, a very positive experience and am pleased that we've not chosen the 'wrong' hospital, doctors or nurses to help us with this birth.

Pam and the pea
36+2 weeks!

Sunday 27 January 2008

Daddy's new toy...







I got D a new bike...as part of his 'well done Dad' present...! :) Well, some people have said that men tend to get their wives presents (usually jewellery, like eternity rings!) when they've had their first baby (and I guess, subsequent babies as well) and so I thought I'd get the daddy a present!


We got D a new........ bicycle! :) and it looks like this! But it's the 20" one, not the 16" one. He's so excited about it he's now out (at6pm, in the dark) riding around the woods behind our house. Bless...!

We did also try on some eternity rings at the jewellers - absolutely fell in love with this one http://www.beaverbrooks.co.uk/index.cfm?event=catalogue.showProduct&productID=1173 but at 2,000 over quid, it's alot of money (and about 8 bicycles?!?!) We might get something when we go to sg in the summer..!


Love


P and the pea x


36 weeks tomorrow!

Friday 25 January 2008

amazing small-mindedness...

I read something in the blog mrbrown.com and it completely pushed my rather low-blood pressure upwards and skywards!

He's a Singaporean blogger who apparently has alot of clout amongst Singaporean readers (and has also attracted some sort of international attention due to various run-ins with the local government). One of his recent posts was on the public transport system, specifically the tube/MRT. Basically the complaint was about how the trains appeared to be more crowded and yet the number of trains that are put on the tracks appear to be less. Hence, increased crowdedness, unhappy population etc.

One of his readers had the audacity to post this in the comments page:
"As if trains aren't crowded enough and to make things worse...
1) Parents nowadays simply refuse to fold up their prams/strollers when entering trains..."

WTF is he on about? How can he think that if parents fold up their prams/strollers, it will make it easier because oh of course, we'd not only be carrying the child, but also the pram, and the shopping and the bags..! I'm sure it's not even a case of not thinking his argument through, but more likely a case of small-mindedness and the quickness to allocate blame onto other people/situations. And I'm not even protesting this because I'm a parent-to-be (well, maybe a tiny bit) but because of the sheer stupidity of his comment!

It's made me feel rather anxious and defensive the next time we (as 3!) go visit Singapore in the summer. I'd imagine that baby will be in a Baby Bjorn type body-carrier as his daddy already loves carrying Vic around in that - but we will also be bringing his buggy to push him about - or maybe we'll just bring the car seat. In a child-unfriendly place, it must be quite daunting for parents to try and maunovere public transport and spaces!

It's made me more appreciative also of the child-friendliess (in comparison!) of the UK environment. Most cafes/restaurants and department stores have baby changing rooms and some even have a rocking chair for breastfeeding mums. All buses have areas where one can leave the prams parked (some don't even need it to be folded). People make space for baby prams - it's not seen as a nuisance, more as a necessity and part of life and so is quite acccepted really! And many restaurants now have baby high chairs or some sort of seat for baby to take a seat, with the parents at the same table.

Plus of course, the positive attitude of employers towards pregnant women, and women on maternity leave. Sure, the UK might still be lagging behind that of Europe and Scandinavia, but it's definitely way ahead of Asia and the US/N.America! At the moment, according to government law, we are entitled to 9 months of maternity leave which can go up to 1 year (I think it's 1 year). Of the 9 months, it depends on how the employer calculates it, but most employers will pay full-pay for a certain portion of the time, and then perhaps half-pay with statutory maternity pay (SMP) for the rest of the time. At the moment, SMP is roughly 100 pounds per week or so, so it's not going to make anyone rich but it allows the person to tide over, I'd imagine.

I opted for the package where we get 8 weeks of full-pay, and then 16 weeks of half pay with SMP and then the rest of the time of SMP only. Hopefully I won't have too many weeks of that since I'm hoping to get back to work for September 2008.

There's also child tax credits and childcare vouchers - which will come in handy when we put the pea in nursery. It basically does not tax you for the amount of money that you pay to the nursery. So if the nursery bill comes up to 400 pounds per month, the government will not tax that 400 pounds, so in fact, it's tax free.

For sure, if we are to have another baby, we'll definitely have it in Europe as compared to in Asia!!!

P and the blue pea
35+4

Edited on 28th Jan2008: turns out that there's a significant minority of Singaporeans out there who actually think that parents with small children should not be allowed on the trains with their buggies (I've since been slated twice for even thinking of doing that). Amazing. Civilised society I think not! *sniff*

Wednesday 16 January 2008

The anti-climatic consultant's app

So, we had our consultant's appointment scheduled for Tuesday, 15th Jan at 2.20pm. We turned up, with very high hopes that we'd get a possible birth-date for the blue pea, and possibly the opportunity to discuss birth plans, how a typical c-section goes and what we need to know. None of that happened.

For one, we didn't even get to see the consultant we were booked in to see. We saw one of his minions.... who was possibly one of the worst doctors I've ever met (and that's saying alot).

We got to the hospital on time - waited at reception to be told what to go and what to do (I'd never been for a consult at this hospital before!). The receptionist ignored me (she was doing something else, but hey, she could have acknowledged my presence?!). The husband then turned up and she then paid attention. hmph. She asked my name and obviously since my married surname doesn't quite relate to the colour of my skin, she asked then to confirm my details (never had to do that before?!). She asked if I'd brought a wee sample with me - no I did not. She then went into this long spiel as to why we need to bring a sample everytime we have an ante-natal visit. But, we weren't going to see the midwife - we had an appointment with the consultant! I didn't know we had to bring a wee sample anyway! Oh well. So she gave me a bottle to wee in and told me where to go and wait.

We saw a midwife and all she did was take my blood pressure, and tested the wee - both of which were fine. Then we got told where to wait to see the consultant. I was still very bouyant about the whole meeting thinking that we'd be able to speak to him finally.

Whilst waiting our turn, I saw this man who looked like a doctor walking around with my hospital notes (I knew for sure that they were my notes because of various things I had filed in them). He walked around for about 20 minutes and kept popping his head into various consultant rooms. He finally called my name and I realised with a sinking heart that he was going to take this particular appointment. I should have been more assertive and asked why I wasn't going to see Mr Bel, but I didn't.

Anyway, during that consult, amongst other things, he suggested that I should be admitted there and then (!? 4 weeks before my c-section?!), I will have a very high chance of being knocked out with General Anaesthetic and therefore D won't be allowed in with me into the theatre (?!) and when we asked why, he said it's because I'll be bleeding. However, when I asked more, he admitted that I wouldn't be bleeding anymore than any other woman undergoing the same procedure - since my placenta was posterior and not anterior (ie, they won't have to cut through the placenta to get to the baby). He also suggested that we will have an internal scan in 2 weeks time (?! strange since I'm not supposed to have an internal anything due to the risk of bleeding) and that we'll then decide when to have the c-section at that meeting. Oh, and the final thing he said was, that the blue pea can come out safely as of now (34 weeks) since he'll be very viable, and therefore, he's not too concerned if we did the c-section at weeks 37 or 38 or 39. I said, yes I understand what you are saying but shouldn't we try and keep the baby in there for a longer period so that he has the opportunity to put on some weight and fat and basically be more 'normal'...? He said, "we're not concerned about baby's weight from now". And I thought, what a load of toss! It can't be right since so many publications, both lay and medical say that the bigger the baby, or the closer to term the baby is, the safer the baby is, plus his chances of developing illnesses as he grows up are lessened! (e.g. heart defaults, etc).

If this didn't concern a major operation, I would have liked so dearly to punch him in the face and given him a piece of my mind!

Thankfully though, when we left the room, Mr Bel, the consultant that I was supposed to see was about and I went to say hello to him and tell him about the consult that I'd just had! Told him about how his colleague was trying to scare me into staying in hospital from then - he completely contradicted his colleague there and then and said that I didn't have to stay at all (not from yesterday at least!) and that this was something that I probably would have had to do say 10-15 years ago, when medicine wasn't so advanced, when not all families had cars etcetc. And to drive home the point, he asked jokingly whether I could file and type letters because his office was in a mess, and if I was to stay for the next 4 weeks I could make myself useful by helping him tidy up his office. I retorted and said that actually, my own office needed tidying up and I needed a secretary to do that for me! So, there's that.

The good news is, I get to see Mr Bel (I am so going to kick up a fuss if it's this other person - heck as long as it's not this person, I don't care who I see) in 2 weeks time and hopefully it'll be a good consult then. I also have fortnightly appointments with the midwife now, so it looks like I will be seeing a medical person every week from now on, which is good.

grr - I was not impressed... I hope we'll do better next appointment!

On a separate note - re friend from NCT, it turns out that she had spent a very long time in labour at the birthing unit (as opposed to consultant-led hospital) and they then transferred her to the consultant-led hospital when her labour wasn't progressing. She was there for about an hour, when the baby's heartbeat suddenly plummetted and they then decided to have an emergency c-section. And that was when the baby was stillborn. It's soooo sad. Not sure what one can say under such circumstances... that they should have gone to the consultant-led unit from the start? That they should have been transferred earlier? That they should have had a caesarean earlier?

Pam and the blue pea
34+2 weeks

Monday 14 January 2008

The scan at 33 weeks

The scan took place last week and it's been confirmed, the placenta is firmly centred over the cervix - it's so centred, if you didn't know better, you would have thought it was deliberately placed there! so, that's it then. All minute hope that we could have a normal vaginal birth have now been dashed - which is fine. Annoys me slightly though, that people still come up to me and say 'there's still hope'. I'm not ignorant, I've read up, and asked the right questions - I wish people would just accept it! I have!!

We have our first consultant's appointment tomorrow afternoon. We'll see what he says then - and hopefully we'll get a date! it's going to be so weird, having a birth date for baby before it actually happens!!

Rachel from work had her baby in early January, about 3/4 weeks before she was actually due - it was an emergency c-section coz the baby was breech and I suppose she went into early labour. I hope baby pea stays in there longer.

Also, had some sad news from one of the girls from NCT - she had an emergency c-section (not sure why) but she was late anyway, and the baby boy was still born. Will update when we get more details. Feel so bad about it - we will be keeping her and her family in our prayers.

Love
P and the pea
34 weeks exactly today!!

Tuesday 8 January 2008

Belated christmas post




Christmas was spent at home this year, due to the scare a few weeks back. We had no intentions to give birth in some layby on the M1/M6 junction in the middle of winter!!
It was great - we got a fantastic looking tree, and had christmas meal cooked for us by C and N, which was a real treat. Thanks guys!
Got some fantastic pressies from D, including a back massager which has gone down a real treat - we use it practically every day! Don't need to book in no posh rub that cost 50 squids now! :) hehe.
Just got back from our 33 week appointment with the midwife, and she commented that even if baby was behaving himself (not transverse, no placenta praevia etc), we might still have to go for a c-section coz my pelvis is so small. Hm. plus the added combination of a 6ft 2 white british male and a 5ft 3 oriental female. hm. oh well.
We have our 33 week scan tomorrow too - which should confirm where exactly the low-lying placenta is and confirm the next steps of whether we're definitely having a c-section etc. The following week we meet the consultant who should be able to say more, so, suffice to say, lots of things to be decided over the next two weeks! Hopefully pea will be good and stay in there a while yet. It's still too early!
Had an NCT gathering yesterday with the first baby born to join us (at 8 days old!). I was so nervous holding her, it was obvious and perhaps that's why she cried. I felt so bad...sigh. I need to get my head round this whole baby thing - it's funny how I am mentally quite aware that we'll be having a baby in the house in the next 5 weeks or so, but well, the practice of having a baby... not so sure about that! What does one do when it cries, apart from picking it up, feeding it, changing it?!?!
P and the blue pea
33 weeks x

Wednesday 2 January 2008

Management in the NHS...

There have been lots of complaints in the UK press about how expenditure in the health service is managed. Every year, the government (doesn't even matter which one) pumps in more and more cash into the system, and yet year on year, services to the patients don't improve. Significantly anyway, to justify the expenditure. I've always thought that living in the SE corner of the UK is great (so far! touch wood!) in my few encounters with the NHS (now with the pregnancy, but previously with colonoscopes and an emergency cornea treatment).

Till now...that is.

Since being discharged from the hospital about 2 weeks back, I was told (I thought) that I should wait for an appointment to be made for me with the OB/GYN consultant to discuss my scans, my c-section dates etc. And so I waited. I figured that there will be a delay of some sort due to christmas/new year holidays.

Today, I decided to give them a call, in the hope that perhaps an appointment was already made but there was a delay due to the post and so on. I got passed round to 6 administrators (started off with the midwife at QEQM who sent me along to the East Kent Patient Appointments hotline, who gave me the phone number of the consultant's secretary who told me that she didn't deal with Ante-natal appointments (?) who then passed me on back to the midwife, who told me that I should speak to some one in Reception called Pat?! and I got Pat's answer machine. Onto which I left a message.

Thankfully, because I 'spoke too fast', she didn't quite get the message and so, rang me back within 2 minutes! (I can't imagine if she could hear my message - would she have left it longer then?). The fact that she rang me back in 2 minutes makes me wonder whether she was just screening her calls? ... anyway, so Pat rang me back and got me an appointment with the OB consultant Mr Bel, in two weeks time, by which time I'll be 34 weeks (and would have had a scan already done the week before).

I can't imagine if I had left it till next week when I have my 33 week ultrasound, whether the hospital would have been able to make me an appointment in time to see a consultant to discuss the PLANNED Caesarean!?! hmph.

I was not impressed.

I don't have a personal grudge against any single particular person (midwife, or doctor) because when it comes down to it, these people are very professional and knowledgeable in whatever they are doing. However, it just seems such a laughable matter that to get to see these professional people there are others who are not trained in even making appointments for us to see them in the first place!

oh well.

Christmas and New Year 2007/08 went well though. Christmas, we went over to C and N's house where they cooked christmas lunch which was yums.. and it was so relaxing because we didn't have to do anything! In between Christmas and New Year's, D and I washed all of baby's clothes, blankets etc. We even washed all our curtains and upholstery from our sofas so that the house felt alot 'cleaner'! (makes us sound like pigs but we aren't really!). I feel alot more ready for baby to come now, although having said that I still have a long list of things to do. We bought some lovely cardboard boxes which I have all intentions to pack my clothes into so that they are nice and tidy and in the meantime sort out things for the charity shop etc, but I have yet to do that (and the empty box has been sat in the bedroom for the last few days!!). I will get round to doing that tomorrow.

New year's eve was spent with C and N also, at the Fordwich Arms where we had a really nice meal and welcomed in the new year. Didn't feel too good that night - think I caught a cold off someone coz I was fine on the 30th!

Today, I had coffee with some girls from the NCT class. One's already given birth (there are 7 couples altogether) and we're the last ones - even with the planned c-section. So...another 5 more to go before it's our turn!! The blue pea had better stay in till then!

Love
P and the blue pea x
32 weeks exactly